By Legislator Scott M. Davis
The recent and unexpected passing of my friend and long-term colleague Jorge Santos has brought with it profound sorrow and deep reflection. In sitting with that grief, one realization rose above the rest: On paper, it never made sense that we should have ever been friends.
We met at the start of our careers as public defenders, coming from divergent backgrounds, shaped by different experiences, cultures, and worldviews. Our personalities were opposite, our temperaments miles apart. By any conventional measure, we were vastly different people not likely to find common ground — let alone build a friendship that would last decades.
And yet, we did. Not by accident, but by choice.
It began with a simple but deliberate decision: to accept and respect our differences and to embrace the discomfort of unfamiliarity. Over years of shared professional and personal experiences, we learned to understand and genuinely appreciate those differences. We discovered and cultivated our commonalities. What began as contrast became complement. That unlikely friendship became one of the most meaningful relationships of my life.
It also helped shape my approach to public service.
Leadership is not about only surrounding yourself with the comfort of those who share your views. It includes listening to those who do not. It is about engaging with sincerity even when the conversation is uncomfortable. It is about recognizing that the unknown — the person whose background, worldview, or temperament differs from yours — may be the very person who expands your understanding of the community you serve.
The work of unifying our community and lowering the current political temperature depends on our willingness to step out of our personal bubbles of comfort and embrace the discomfort of unfamiliarity we so often avoid. In a time when divisiveness feels ever‑present, choosing to stretch our boundaries, listen with genuine curiosity, and appreciate differing viewpoints is not a sign of weakness. It is a series of deliberate decisions that strengthen both our community and our individual selves.
Division grows when we retreat into what feels familiar. Unity grows when we step beyond it. Meeting unfamiliar ideas with curiosity instead of suspicion and approaching difficult conversations with respect rather than the desire to “win,” creates space for connection where conflict might otherwise take root — all without compromising one’s values.
Team sports provide a particularly good example. Very often, players are brought together from different backgrounds. In many instances they might never otherwise cross paths, yet they are expected to trust one another and pursue a common goal. Through practice and play, they get to know each other, work through conflict, and align individual strengths. With most successful teams, strangers become a unit because they choose to lean into the discomfort of difference and work together toward a common goal. Differences disappear, and sometimes… unlikely friendships emerge.
I am a better person — professionally, personally, and as an elected representative — because of my unlikely friendship with Jorge. His influence pushed me to grow in ways comfort never could.
As I mourn his loss, I share the lesson he helped teach me: that progress, whether personal or political, begins with the courage to step toward the unfamiliar. If we can choose discomfort over certainty, curiosity over assumption, and engagement over retreat, we can build a healthier political culture — one grounded not in fear of our differences, but in a shared commitment to move forward together.
Scott M. Davis, of Rockville Centre, represents Nassau County’s Legislative District 1.